Is My Wife Even Listening To Me?- A Love Story

My wife has a lot of rules in our household like if you cook you must clean it, to empty the vacuum cleaner after ever use, or to always call her when I am on the way home. These rules are just a few of things I must obey in order to make my life at home more enjoyable without fearing a sudden death. One rule that is big in our house is to always have your phone on you. I kind of take this to extreme cause I always have my phone on me consistently. If I don’t answer it’s because I am talking to someone else or I really don’t want to talk to you.

I have to tread carefully here when telling this story cause I want to make sure I set the stage just right. Yesterday I came home from work and my wife, little girl and my pregnant sister-in-law were waiting on me. The plan was to go to SAMs and get dog food and come home. Every time I get home from work it never fails that I have to poop. I am not kidding. It’s the weirdest thing. So I retreated to my bathroom to do my business.

After checking my emails, playing Angry Birds, sending a few tweets, checking Instagram, updating my Facebook status, and looking at my WordPress Reader I was ready to finish up when I realized something. Something that is the worst possible thing that could happen when going number two. I had no toilet paper! I looked around the bathroom cabinets hoping there would be roll under the sink that would magically appear but nothing. I looked around and for a brief second thought about using the washcloth in the sink. I would have to bury it in the backyard and never tell anyone. That just seemed like too much work.

Then I thought I would be clever and open the door and yell for Brittney but she never answered me. I continued to yell about three times but still no answer. I started to get a little discouraged and kept wondering how I was going to get out of this situation. Then I remembered that I always follow the rules. I reached into my pants pocket and got out my iPhone. I thought to myself that Brittney had to have her phone on her. Its one of our rules. I began to text her but she did not respond. I had no other choice but to text her untill she answered.

The following texts are real. No names have been changed and viewer discretion is advised.

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Finally my wife came and brought me some toilet paper and I was able to finish my business. The rest of the evening I reminded her that I followed the rule and had my phone on me. What was she doing you ask? She was in the baby’s room cleaning out her crib. I actually had to text her sister to tell her to check her phone. We had a nice laugh while she was reading my texts to her sister. I forgive her for not following our rules but for now on I will always make sure that our bathroom has some toilet paper when I have to go number two.

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Author: tfun2662

I am 24 years old and I love to write about everything!

2 thoughts on “Is My Wife Even Listening To Me?- A Love Story”

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