Before you start to judge me, let me just say I love my kid and would not trade anything for her. She is amazing. I am a very impatient person and I can’t wait to get out of the “baby phase”. Why you ask? Here are some reasons I can’t wait for my kid to get older.
Once of the things I will not miss is the snap buttons on PJs. There has to be a special place in hell for the person who invented these. I wonder if they even had a kid. It is so hard to change a child when they are constantly kicking and throwing their body around to have to snap their clothes together. Then the painful moment when you look down and you noticed that you missed one and you have to start all over. Those things are a pain in the ass for sure. I tink after K-Dub gets bigger, I am going to throw them in a pile in the backyard and burn them as I dance naked around them. Yes, there will be alcohol involved.
I really can’t wait for the day where I can sleep through the night every night and there is no more trading off night feedings between the wife and I. That would be awesome. I get up every morning at 5:30 to get ready to go to work. Sometimes K-Dub wakes up at 4:30 to get fed. This sucks when it is my night cause I have to get up and feed her and then come back to bed. By the time I fall asleep my alarm goes off. It sucks. Why can’t we all sleep through the night?
I also cannot wait till we no longer have to pack a diaper bag or tug arround a car seat. It sucks having to carry around these things everywhere you go. Then you always have to trade-off between cars. K-Dub is not getting any lighter! I also wish that her diaper bag could be a gender neutral color instead of the hot pink one my wife has. I love the looks I get when K-Dub and I are hitting the town. I have to say that I rock that pink bag!
The last thing I cannot wait for is the day I don’t have to wipe an ass. I can’t wait to teach K-Dub how to use the potty. That day will be awesome cause I won’t have to deal with anymore up the back poops or the ones that make you just want to burn their outfit instead of washing it. If I had a boy I would just teach him how to whip it out and pee on a tree but a girl I will have to find a different approach. Either way, a kid that is potty trained will be a much welcomed member of the family. I wish I could teach our dog to use the toilet.
I know this may seem that I am bitching and complaining about the stuff that comes with parenthood, but I am just ready to have “normal” brought back into my life. I think that karma is crazy and that as soon as I get K-Dub in a nice normal routine BrittWhitFun is going to come at me with a smile holding a stick that might as well say “You are doomed for another 18 years!” Life sure can be fun. Can’t it?