Well its been almost a whole entire week since my last entry and I have to say that it really sucks when you have a “bloggers block”. It took me a while to snap out of this crazy trance that is everyday life. Now I am refreshed and ready to blog about some new stories.
One of the craziest things about being a parent is how much attention you have to give your child. When asked by my single friends about how much attention, the only way I can explain it is to compare parenting to taking care of a drunk. This is true and I might be going to hell for writing this. My apologies up front.
A baby and a drunk always want more.
This is true. Once you give your kid a bottle they just carry it around until there is nothing more left in it. A drunk person does the same thing. As soon as the beer is gone its time to order another one. You can try to cut a baby and a drunk off but the results could be a disaster. Expect lots of whining and crying from both. This leads me to my next point.
A baby and a drunk cry a lot.
Yes babies and drunks cry a lot. This is a true statement. I once spent almost two hours consoling a crying drunk friend after his girlfriend turned down his proposal. The same goes for a baby. K-Dub would fall or just yesterday smashed her finger. Just like that, it was the end of the world.
Kids and drunks walk the same.
True statement. There is no way a baby or a drunk could walk a straight line.
A baby and a drunk can’t speak.
Well they can but almost every time you cannot understand what they are saying.
There is always a mess to clean up.
If you either have to clean up vomit or spit up, it’s all the same. Also drunks and babies do wet themselves. It’s a fact.
So after explaining to my friends how being a drunk and a having a kid our the same they usually have a clear idea on what it’s really like being a parent. If they only really knew. So the next time you hang with your kid, just remember that it’s just like when you were in college but just better. Also there is not a hangover the next day. Just you being tired all the time. ALL THE TIME!