Well I have finally made it to today. I have been dreading this day every since you passed away. I told myself that I have two option regarding how I was going to handle your birthday today. The first one was to spend the day in bed listening to your voicemails saved on my phone and looking thew old pictures as a sobbed like a 10 year old girl.
I decided to go with the second option. I spent my morning playing with your granddaughter. We chased each other around the house, watched Curious George, and played with all of her Christmas gifts. She has grown up so much since you left us. She can say complete sentences, she likes to dance to Michael Jackson and she loves the 1966 Batman TV show. Her hair has gotten so long and she makes these funny faces that even when you are mad at her, you can’t help but laugh. More importantly, she loved more than any girl in the world.
Since you passed away I have been lost. I feel like apart of me is missing. Thanksgiving was hard for me. Just making a meal and knowing you were not coming through that door to eat was hard to swallow. Christmas was easier than I thought it would be, although I missed you asking BrittWhitFun to wrap your gifts for the grandkids. Although it was hard going through the holidays, today is harder. Today is your birthday and you are not here to celebrate it. I would give anything to here you ask me what I was going to do for you for your birthday as you asked me every year. Today I am sad. Sad that you are not here and never will be again.
Then I dry my tears and look up and realize that this beautiful little girl I have sitting next to me watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse as I am writing this is amazing. I am teaching her everything you taught me. So in a way you are still here with us. You never left us. She will grow up with the same morals and values that you taught me and that is the best birthday gift I could ever get you. So that’s what you get this year and every year forward that I am a father. It’s more of a promise to you that I will be the best father I can, the best uncle I can, and the best husband I can. Love you Dad.