Since losing my dad it’s been really hard to find someone that has been through the same thing. I mean everyone eventually loses a parent but not when they are around my age or at least i don’t know anyone who has. So I have to say I felt lost.
Growing up my brother and I were very close up until the time we became young adults and then we kind of went out separate ways. We found different interests, met very different types of people, and achieved different forms of success. Sure we would gather and talk at family gatherings and I would get the once in six months phone call to catch up but we were doing our own stuff. I was there at his wedding, the birth of his first child, and birthday parties and he was at my wedding, the birth of my daughter and my college graduation but we never had that connection. That closeness that brothers experience.
When our father passed away it was like our relationship was awaken. We talk almost everyday, we see each other more now, our kids spend a lot of time together. He was gone for Christmas this year and I actual missed him. That has not happened in a long time. I also look forward to talking to him on the phone. I had a test for a job today and he was the first person I wanted to talk to about it.
I hate to say but losing a parent was the best thing for our relationship. We became each other’s rock and support system. We are going through grief together and it’s nice to have someone who is experiencing a loss with you. Someone who understands. I hope our relationship stays this way and that it only gets better. I know that if our father was alive he would be happy to see that we are in each other’s lives and that we are facing life together.