Football, Splash Pads, & Life Lessons

Let me start by saying that I am sorry for not following up on this past weeks blogs. Things have been nuts around the house and and trying to find the time to blog and update you guys has become difficult but I will talk about that later.

Picking up from my previous entry, the past few weeks we were grieving the loss of Tanner and things are still not the same. You would think with all the losses that my family and I have had that we would be come pros with dealing with grief but it still is easy and I have come to the conclusion that it never will be.

Many people know that my relationship with my brother has never been the best and I am not going into much detail about it but just know that we did finally have a talk and decided that we don’t always have to hang out or see each other every day. I can work with this. After mending some fences he invited me to the open preseason Panther game and you know I love my Carolina Panthers!

I had a great time. Too much of a great time and maybe should have never drank that 6th beer. Anyways, I was really glad to spend some time with him and enjoy some football also.

Finally the weekend came along and we had another birthday party to go to. This time it was for my other niece Charlee as it was her birthday. I can’t believe my niece is going to be in 1st grade this year! Where has the time gone?

The party was fun and even I got on the splash pad and got soaked. My girls had a blast and it was great to be around family and friends.

One thing that I never stop doing is learning. I always try to learn life lessons and sometimes I learn thing even when I don’t want to. I have learned that no matter what happens to just forgive and move on. That does not mean keeping the person around but to not let that hurt control your everyday life. Just let it go. Now sometimes it is harder then others and I struggle myself sometimes but you need to let it go.

The other lesson I learned was to stay out of God’s business and other people’s business and just worry about your business. This has helped me at work. When something does not go my way I have to tell myself I cannot control other people and what they do. I can only control what I do and how I react. This is more then likely my biggest lesson to learn.

I have a lot of cool things happening on the blog soon. A lot of fun things with the kids that need a post so stay tuned.

The Dirty 30

  Well I have reached the epic milestone known as turning 30. 

I have to say that I really do have the best wife in the world. She threw me an epic surprise party. No one has ever thrown me a surprise party before so that also made it extra special. We will get to that. 

The day started with an amazing birthday workout thrown from my amazing coach at CrostfitMNC. It was the kind of workout that people were cursing my name. I loved it. 

  
After the workout we took a few selfies cause you kind of have to. 

   
 
After that workout I went home and really wanted to take a nap but instead checked my Facebook wall and the. Had lunch with my brother and sister in law. 

When coming home again. My wife came home and said she wanted to eat out for my birthday and we should go to Hickory Tavern. So I got dressed and we left. Once we walked in we were walking to be seating when I heard SURPRISE! 

I looked up Ned all my family was staring at me. I was in shock. The restaurant gave us a good deal in food and my birthday cake was amazing. 

All and all I am one happy 30 year old. 

The Bed Tranistion

 

Its not a huge secret that I am a bargain hunter. I hate spending a lot of money. I have never in my life thought of myself as cheap but I do get high from saving money. Thats why I am the only dad in my community that coupons. True story. Its bad that I have a rep around town of being the most domestic housewife you met. Its true and I am not ashamed to be the one who cooks, cleans, and does all the shopping. its kind of an OCD kind of thing and on the other hand of me knowing that if I do it it will be done right.

Anyways, this week my wife asked me to meet her at a huge consignment sale at a local church. This sale is like the Super Bowl of sales. I have actually never been to a consignment sale and have always left the kids clothing shopping to my wife cause lets face it, my wife knows little girl fashion better then me. I actually arrived first and went in and there was not a crowd yet so I took my time walking around looking. I was getting some seriously crazy looks from some of the moms as it was clear that I was the only dad in the whole place.

About 30 minutes or so of looking and putting potiental items in a bag, I found it. For weeks my wife and I have been talking about getting K-Dub a toddler bed so we could get the crib ready for the new baby. We knew we did not want to go broke on a new piece of furniture but now was a better time then later. I looked up at the wall by the door and they had a very nice toddler bed with a mattress for only $35. That was a steal! I took a picture and sent it to my wife. She sent me a immediate reply with a GET IT!! I asked the kind lady sitting next to it if it was still for sale and she said yes. She handed me the ticket and I almost hugged her as I smiled.

When we got home I was still high from my latest frugal find. If I was a smoker I would have lit up then! Sometimes I think getting a great deal is better then sex! We put the bed in the dinning room and decided that tomorrow we would introduce K-Dub to her new bed.

The next morning I took K-Dub’s new bed up to her room while my wife gave her a bath. I put the sheets on and threw a nice pillow on. I was so excited for her to see it. She was going to love it. As soon as she saw it this happened…

Not the reaction I was hoping for but it could have been worse. After finally getting her to calm down by simply explaining she was a big girl and that the new baby needed her old crib now, she dried her tears and calmed down.

That night she she fell asleep after only climbing out of bed a few times. I have to say that its hard to believe that as a parent we are at this point. My little girl is growing up so fast and I am doing everything to keep up with her. I guess its on to the next adventure.

A Bigger Plan

It has been over a month since my last post. Trying to come up with the words to explain what has been going on is a understament. The only way I can describe the past month is that although I am still here, I am incredibly broken. To fully understand this I must start from the beginning…

It was coming the point where excitement was overflowing in our house. We were ready to announce to all of family and friends on the internet that we would be welcoming our second child in May. We were only three days away from being in the second stage of our pregnancy. My wife woke up in the morning getting ready to head to her new job that she absolutely loved. We had a hard time the past few months when she unexpectedly lost her job at Union Breast Surgery. We knew that a new baby was exactly the kind of good news we needed at this point. She said she thought she had a UTI and that if it got worse she would go to the doctor. After going through the morning routine and dropping K-Dub off at her Aunt Kate’s house, I went to work as usual.

I did not hear anything from my wife for some time so after lunch I decided to text her. She said that the pain was getting worse and she was on her way to see the doctor and she would call me if she needed me. So a couple of hours later I had a sense of worry and called my wife. When she answered the phone I knew that something was not right. She struggled to get the words out and all I heard was that my baby stop developing after nine weeks and my wife was actually in labor to deliver our dead child. She told me that she was going to have to go to the hospital and have the baby surgically removed. So I told my boss that I needed to go and headed to the hospital to meet her.

Once I arrived at the hospital I found my wife in her car. I jumped in the passenger seat and held her hand as she cried and handled the pain. She apologized to me for losing another baby and I looked at her and said that it was not her fault  and that theres always a bigger plan in motion. These were the words that I found to be saying a lot in the next few weeks and soon you will know why. After we cried in the car and called our parents to let them know what was going on, we headed in the hospital. We got a wheelchair and I pushed my wife to the front desk. I remember the front desk lady not knowing where we needed to go. We went to three departments before we found that we needed to be in the surgical area. My wife at this point had lost a lot of blood. At least it looked like a lot of blood to me. Her scrub pants were completely soaked and she even passed out twice before finding the right place we needed to be.

Once they got her back and stable , I just remember a lot of people coming by and wiping the blood off the table and me holding my wife’s hand tighter and tighter. Then a lady came in with a paper on a clipboard and asked me to sign to give them permission to perform the procedure on my wife. I sat there and stared at this form. This was me signing for them to take my child. It was a moment that was so real and so emotional that I will never forget it. Soon my wife had to go for her procedure and I had to leave. I kissed her on her forehead and said that there was a bigger plan.

I sat in the waiting room alone. Thinking about what had just happened. I was answering text messages and phone calls from parents and close friends. I was trying to keep it together but it was hard. It was hard to be the strong man who my wife needed when all I wanted to was someone to be strong for me. After my wife’s sister, Kate came finally to sit with me and cry with me, we were allowed to come back and see my wife. She told me that she felt a lot better and that she was still in some pain but would make it.

When we got home and settled down I realized that the only person I have not called was my dad. He was so happy when I told him we were having another baby. To break his heart was something that I could not do yet. So I went on to bed.

The next day I went to work and I was just numb. I told some close coworkers about what had happened and they both gave me words of encouragement and cried with me. Around lunch time my brother called me and told me that he had not been able to get in touch with our dad for a few days and wanted to know if I heard anything from him. The last time I saw my dad was Monday. This was a Saturday, so I began to get worried. I ended up leaving work and told my brother to meet me at Dad’s house. When I finally got to the exit that lead to his house, my brother called me and told me that his mailbox was full, there were packages on the doorstep, his truck was in the driveway, but the door was locked and he was not answering. I knew at that point what I was about to walk into.

I told my brother that I had a key and to just wait on me. When I arrived at the house, my key was not working so I ended up telling my brother to kick the door in. After two kicks we were in. We both yelled for Dad to answer but there was nothing. When we arrived in the back bedroom we found him. He had died in his sleep sometime between Monday night and Saturday afternoon. My heart dropped and I feel to the ground. My brother being the law enforcement man he is, went in to work mode and called it in.

The next few hours were very hard for me to recall. I remember feeling like I could not breathe. It was almost like I was hit in the stomach. I recall telling my wife as best as I could over the phone and then my wife said she was on the way. I was beyond devastated. After a couple of hours waiting on a search warrant and then for the funeral home to come and remove the body, I still could not bring myself to process what was going on. I just lost my dad and my child in less than a week. I remember asking myself why me? My wife just looked at me and said that there was a bigger plan.

The next few days were rough. We had to tell the family, his family, and friends what had happened. Our church actually prayed over us and the amount of text messages and phone calls were unreal. The most hardest part was making the arrangements for the funeral. To finally say goodbye to a parent is so tough. The one thing I will never forget was the funeral home asking me to sign the form giving them permission to cremate my dad. I lost it just like I did when I signed the form at the hospital. It was hard but I made through.

The funeral was nice. A lot of family and friends came to say goodbye to my dad. He would have been so proud of how my brother and I arranged everything. From the flowers to the service, we handled it. For him.

The next few days after the funeral, I found myself having to clean out his house of his belongings. He had a lot of books and movies. So many that we ended up donated them to the local libraries around our area. I had to find places to put things and I am still trying to settle all of his affairs.

My job gave me two weeks bereavement to sort out everything but on Thursday this week told me that they had to let me go. So in three weeks I have lost my child, my dad, and now my job. The news in a strange way made me feel relived. I had not been happy there for a a while but after hearing this news, the only thing I could tell you was that I was already numb and I was not ready to process this. I finally told my wife and she was more in a panic than I was.

In spite of everything, I am in good spirits. Why you ask? Because there is a bigger plan out there for me. Now I am really a stay at home dad which is something I always wanted to try to people always told me I would be great at it. Also,  I can finish settling my dad’s affairs. Now I can spend some much-needed time with my mom, who just had her leg amputated. Now I log more miles in with running since I have not run in almost a month. Its going to be an adjustment and there are times where I have trouble getting out of bed. I have to keep telling myself that there is a bigger plan out there for me. Now I am more excited to see what exactly it is and where it will take me. I will miss my dad and my child but I am reminded everyday that they are with me. I know its weird but I just feel at peace with everything. It’s like they never left. I also know that they will be with as I embark on a bigger plan.

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The Friends That Change Everything!

Cattie, Tristan, and I on my 23rd Birthday!

One thing I have blessed to have in my life is really good friends that I can count on. They may be a small group but I know they will always have my back. I moved from a small town to get an education. I never knew that I would meet some people that would change my life forever.

Cattie has been there through everything. She always knows what to say and what to do. She sometimes can be tough skin but other times she can show she is just human. I never had a friend that could make me laugh like her. She is very career oriented and always follows her heart. She is very creative and always pushes to be the best. She is her own person and is always marching to the beat of her own drum. Some people think it is weird to have a best friend that is a girl but I consider it a balance. I get to see the world through her eyes. She is one of those friends that I know is not going anywhere.

Tristan is a the friend I consider to be wild. He does everything at a drop of a hat. He lives life with such ease and does not care what people think. He is very good outdoors and loves to travel and see the world. He loves music and likes to push the limits. He knows how to have a good time and to be serious. He keeps me grounded and shows me that life can be fun when you least expect it. He voices his opinion no matter if you like it or not.

Chris has been my friend since high school. For ten years we have been through a lot and friendship has always remained strong. He is a gentle soul and would give you the shirt off his back if you asked him to. I know that no matter what time of day it would be, he would be there.

As time has moved us on, we still feel like that small family. I know in my heart that will remain friends until are eighty. I find it very funny that we meet people who change our lives forever. We take these people with us through life and the cool thing is that we all are just enjoying the ride but the ride is only fun if you have close friends to enjoy it with you.