My Uber-tastic Saturday

So this past Saturday I decided to take my life and time in my own hand and make some extra money. This was totally legal. What did I decide to do? I became a driver for Uber.

I have been scared ever since I got the approval letter telling me that I was welcome to the family and to get out there and drive. I was just really nervous cause I did not know how I felt about having total strangers in my car. What if I got robbed or killed.

Charlotte is not that big of a city so how hard could this be. So I went and washed my car and vaccumed all the dirt out and wiped the dash. To make my passengers feel extra special, I put bottles of water and plastic bags in my doors so if anyone got sick they could handle it and I did not get it all in my car.

The time came on Saturday to head to Charlotte. I pay to park at The Sherton Hotel so I parked there and went live on my Uber driver app. Soon within seconds I had a request. They were at the front of the hotel. I drove up and saw a group of three girls. They wanted to go to the Epic Center. I have no idea why they wanted a ride cause its only two blocks away but they got in and I made the trip.

After they got out and left me a $4 tip I went on to make a total of 7 trips that night in a two hour timeframe. I could not believe how fast time was flying. I got ride after ride and I had to make myself go home.

The people were nice in general and riders love to talk, LOVE TO TALK! I heard all about a girl’s man problems and how she was independent and no man was going to define her. It was clear this lady was intoxicated.

So how much money did I make in two hours? I made $30 with a $4 tip. Not bad for only 7 trips. Another question is if I will ever do it again. I think I might wait till football season starts and Uber people around from the bar to the stadium. The fare and surge goes up during special events so it would be nice to make some extra money around the holidays.

I Have Venti Size Love For You, Starbucks

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Dear Starbucks,

I pull up to you small but quite shop. My morning has been so bad and all I wanted to do this morning was to put your hot, creamy, black liquid inside me. I had to tell my wife I was heading to the grocery store. I hate to lie to her but she does not understand our wild love affair. She will never understand our burning passion for one another.

I walk up to the counter and a gaze at you mighty variety of sweet and warm treats. One of your nice workers greet me and ask me what they can get started for me this morning. My mind is saying skinny vanilla late but I feel like being a bad boy this morning and getting a black and white mocha. I order my drink and sit there and wait while breathing in the amazing aroma of your coffee awesomeness. I suddenly forget the stress of being a husband and father. I remember our other times we had together. How you always helped me with so many blog entries and early morning meetings. You have been such a savior.

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of my name being called. I rush to the counter and grab my warm cup of love that has been prepared just for me. I find a chair. The perfect chair. Its oversized, dark red, and feels like it was specially made for my ass. So I sit there listening to your infinite playlist of mellow tunes while sipping on your warm chocolate and coffee goodness. I fall into a coma of relaxation thinking of nothing but sitting in a log cabin being warmed by nothing but a cup of your amazing coffee and a small fire. Snow falling outside with just a hint of a wind chill coming in through the cracks of the window frame. The mind numbing indie music playing as I attempt to hum along when…….

My fantasy is interrupted by the sound of my cell phone. I look down at the new text from my wife asking me where have I been for the past two hours. I reply that I am on the way home. I get up and finish your sweet coffee and walk out the door back to my life of chaos knowing that our love affair will never end as long as you are in driving distance from the my house. Thanks again for not telling anyone. They would never understand our love.

Tyler

(Starbucks Addict)

Is My Wife Even Listening To Me?- A Love Story

My wife has a lot of rules in our household like if you cook you must clean it, to empty the vacuum cleaner after ever use, or to always call her when I am on the way home. These rules are just a few of things I must obey in order to make my life at home more enjoyable without fearing a sudden death. One rule that is big in our house is to always have your phone on you. I kind of take this to extreme cause I always have my phone on me consistently. If I don’t answer it’s because I am talking to someone else or I really don’t want to talk to you.

I have to tread carefully here when telling this story cause I want to make sure I set the stage just right. Yesterday I came home from work and my wife, little girl and my pregnant sister-in-law were waiting on me. The plan was to go to SAMs and get dog food and come home. Every time I get home from work it never fails that I have to poop. I am not kidding. It’s the weirdest thing. So I retreated to my bathroom to do my business.

After checking my emails, playing Angry Birds, sending a few tweets, checking Instagram, updating my Facebook status, and looking at my WordPress Reader I was ready to finish up when I realized something. Something that is the worst possible thing that could happen when going number two. I had no toilet paper! I looked around the bathroom cabinets hoping there would be roll under the sink that would magically appear but nothing. I looked around and for a brief second thought about using the washcloth in the sink. I would have to bury it in the backyard and never tell anyone. That just seemed like too much work.

Then I thought I would be clever and open the door and yell for Brittney but she never answered me. I continued to yell about three times but still no answer. I started to get a little discouraged and kept wondering how I was going to get out of this situation. Then I remembered that I always follow the rules. I reached into my pants pocket and got out my iPhone. I thought to myself that Brittney had to have her phone on her. Its one of our rules. I began to text her but she did not respond. I had no other choice but to text her untill she answered.

The following texts are real. No names have been changed and viewer discretion is advised.

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Finally my wife came and brought me some toilet paper and I was able to finish my business. The rest of the evening I reminded her that I followed the rule and had my phone on me. What was she doing you ask? She was in the baby’s room cleaning out her crib. I actually had to text her sister to tell her to check her phone. We had a nice laugh while she was reading my texts to her sister. I forgive her for not following our rules but for now on I will always make sure that our bathroom has some toilet paper when I have to go number two.

How To Throw The Best Dad To Be Shower Ever!

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Yesterday, my wife had her baby shower. This event lasted for about two hours so the question that came to me was what am I going to do? My best friend came into town from Anson and the plan was to play paintball. Paintball can get pretty expensive so we decided to go to a bar and watch the Panther game. Which bar you ask? Hooter’s of course.

This turned in to a Dad to be shower. What is that you ask? It is a shower for the soon to be new dad with three main ingredients which include beer, wings, and football. It was a lot of fun even if the Panthers lost to the Broncos. The food was amazing and spending time with my best friend of 12 years was great to.

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After we left the restaurant we crashed my wife’s shower and stole all the gifts and rode dirty back to the house. It was fun. We then proceeded to put the stroller together that we got from my mother in law. Let me tell you that baby stuff is complicated to put together. It took two guys 20 minutes to unfold a stroller and was only able to after my wife came home and did it for us with no problem at all.

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After finally getting it completed we started putting other gifts away like clothes and bath stuff. Finally I was able to make Karsyn’s room look more like a kids room rather than a spare guest room with a cage in it.

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It seems everything is coming together. Now we just have a few more things to do before Karsyn gets here and we can relax and just wait. We have another baby class this week so I will be sure to tell you my experiences as I throw up at the sight of a video vaginal birth.

Is It Christmas Time Already? Really?

Can I at least finish my Halloween candy first? I am never one to complain but I think that Christmas seems to be popping around way to earlier that usual this year. It seems as soon as the clock turned to midnight on Halloween night, the Christmas commercials already started. I looked at my TV and secretly wished that the Christmas themed “Target Dog” would pee on the newly lit Christmas tree. I guess that was too much to wish about. Then ABC Family has this dumb thing called countdown to the 25 days of Christmas, which really means that they are going to play the same dumb movies on the countdown that they play when it is actually Christmas time. The only difference is that I am sure one of those weekends will be Harry Potter Weekend!

After Halloween I had  some crazy cold starting and sent my wife to Target to get me some medicine. When arrived she told me that not only was she being pushed and shoved by the Black Turkey people( Black Turkey is the day after Halloween. It’s when all the Halloween candy is 50% off. It’s the Black Friday for fat people.), but she also got stuck behind people buying the newly put up ornaments and wrapping paper holders. Has it already begun?

I am setting at work today and I start to get really sleepy(Let me remind you I have a cold.) so I decide to head to the Starbucks downstairs only to find that they already have their Christmas flavors and signature “red cups” out. Where is my Pumpkin Spice Latte? Where did you go? What the hell is a Gingerbread Latte?

After almost having a nervous breakdown in the middle of Starbucks, I retreated back to my desk empty-handed to get ready for a meeting. I step into my meeting room only to be greeted by the sound of holiday music? Really? Then the conductor of the meeting starts talking about what her kids want for Christmas. She then proceeds to pull out a Toys-R-Us toy book to show what her snot noise kids have circled. Really?

So I ask again, Can I cut my damn turkey first before I even begin to start thinking about Christmas? I love the holiday don’t get me wrong but with the way Christmas has been shoved down my throat the past few days, I just rather wait and put up the tree, try a gingerbread latte, rock out to Jingle Bell Rock, the day after Thanksgiving so I can enjoy the holidays like they are intended to be enjoyed. One at a time!

Happy Halloween!

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Well it’s that time of year again! I love Halloween but it is not my favorite holiday but this year I had a lot of fun.

I got this morning and put on my costume which was Honey Boo Boo’s dad. I thought about that one myself. I went to work where we had our fall festival in our department. We had a puzzles to do and we had a potluck lunch. One of the most fun things we had was a pumpkin carving kit which me and my coworker Lucia got to represent out team.

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We worked really hard for the one hour we had to finish the project. And this is the finish product.

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We actually won the contest and it was fun. We won a pizza party for our entire team. I did loose the costume contest which means that I am going to have to try harder next year.

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I came home and helped my wife pass out candy and then we ate dinner. My 29 weeks pregnant wife had to go to bed so I decided to end my fright night with the classic movie Halloween. I hope you enjoyed your holiday as much as I did mine!

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#18 See The Braves Play One More Time

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Have a lot of new things to post in the next couple of days. I know my posting has not been very fruitful as some would say. I can at least tell you that life has happened a lot in the past few months. Been doing a lot of traveling and preparing for Baby Karsyn’s arrival.
I am not going to make a lot of excuses but I promise things will get better readers.

Moving on, I just was going threw my list of 25 things to do and found that I have completed number 18. Here is the story.

As far as my last post goes, Brittney did stop shouting Adele lyrics at me and we made it to Atlanta around 8:30 that night. We got checked in and passed out. Not really a story there. Sorry.

The next morning we went down and had breakfast with the family. Charlee Bell was in rare form and so was I. After laughing and talking about the days plans, we were off on our crazy trip to see the Braves.

I am going to take sometime here to say that I love Atlanta but I hate driving in this city. There are cars everywhere and people will pass you doing at least 85 mph. I was so stressed driving to the stadium that for a second I thought my hands were glued at the 10 and 2 position. Just saying.

After finally finding a parking spot, which costs us $20, we got to the front gate at Turner Field. This game was really special cause it was Chipper Jone’s last game. The game was great cause the Braves won. I even got a special cup with a printed Chipper autograph on it.

All and all, the trip was fun. After the game it started to rain and we made a quick stop in Alpharetta to have dinner with my Uncle David and Aunt Mikki. The road trip home was not so fun cause it was late and raining and my  very pregnant wife was not comfortable at all. So now that we got our last trip for a while done its time to focus on getting ready for Karsyn’s arrival.

More stuff is coming so keep checking in.

#18 See The Braves play one more time- Completed on 09/29/2012