I Have Venti Size Love For You, Starbucks


Dear Starbucks,

I pull up to you small but quite shop. My morning has been so bad and all I wanted to do this morning was to put your hot, creamy, black liquid inside me. I had to tell my wife I was heading to the grocery store. I hate to lie to her but she does not understand our wild love affair. She will never understand our burning passion for one another.

I walk up to the counter and a gaze at you mighty variety of sweet and warm treats. One of your nice workers greet me and ask me what they can get started for me this morning. My mind is saying skinny vanilla late but I feel like being a bad boy this morning and getting a black and white mocha. I order my drink and sit there and wait while breathing in the amazing aroma of your coffee awesomeness. I suddenly forget the stress of being a husband and father. I remember our other times we had together. How you always helped me with so many blog entries and early morning meetings. You have been such a savior.

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of my name being called. I rush to the counter and grab my warm cup of love that has been prepared just for me. I find a chair. The perfect chair. Its oversized, dark red, and feels like it was specially made for my ass. So I sit there listening to your infinite playlist of mellow tunes while sipping on your warm chocolate and coffee goodness. I fall into a coma of relaxation thinking of nothing but sitting in a log cabin being warmed by nothing but a cup of your amazing coffee and a small fire. Snow falling outside with just a hint of a wind chill coming in through the cracks of the window frame. The mind numbing indie music playing as I attempt to hum along when…….

My fantasy is interrupted by the sound of my cell phone. I look down at the new text from my wife asking me where have I been for the past two hours. I reply that I am on the way home. I get up and finish your sweet coffee and walk out the door back to my life of chaos knowing that our love affair will never end as long as you are in driving distance from the my house. Thanks again for not telling anyone. They would never understand our love.


(Starbucks Addict)

How Coffee Almost Killed Me


Yesterday I almost died or at least I felt like I was going to. I never knew that drinking a simple morning beverage would be the almost end of me.

It all started in the morning of course. I just got up and got ready for another day at the office. I was feeling a little sluggish and decided to make a cup of coffee. I recently found the love of this beverage as I had never liked coffee unless it was made at a Starbucks in the past. I made a chocolate glazed doughnut flavored coffee and put some creamer and drank it. I actually drank it pretty slow.

I waited about ten minutes and did not really feel anything so I decided to make a cup for the road. This is something I never do. I started my commute to work sipping my coffee cup and jamming out to my new Justin Timberlake album. I got to work around nine and still was not feeling anything.

My office had a Starbucks in the lobby so I stopped in and got their dark blend coffee. I put a dash of half and half and headed upstairs. I got to my desk and by 10:30 am I had completely devoured my grande sized coffee.

Now around noon I started to feel dizzy and then it was followed my a migraine headache. My nerves in my fingers went numb and I started to shake. My heart started beating really fast and my vision got very blurry. I thought I was fixing to die.

I do have a heart condition called Afib but I have been able to keep it under wraps for the past few years. I told my boss I was not feeling well and headed home.

Once I arrived at the house I laid on the couch and slept for a hour and a half and then told my wife what happened. She told me I was a stupid person for drinking so much coffee in three hours and for knowing about my condition and how dangerous that was.

Now that my wife has put me on a one cup of coffee a day regiment, I do see how I could have died. My new found love for homemade coffee will always be true as I still brew my morning cup.