I Am A Tired Dad

I am tired!

The past few months have been like a complete blur. We have had a lot going on. With the renovations, birthday parties, beach trips, sorting through old junk, working, and holidays I really have not had a whole lot of time to breathe.

I think my wife and I need a weekend of down time. As much as I love our crazy life that we built together, I would like to take a time out and sit in a hammock in the shade and just fall asleep for a couple of hours.

There are two things in this world that are amazing: Coffee and more Coffee. I never knew how much I loved it until I had children. My children are amazing but they are exhausting. I love them but they are at a 15 when I need them down at about a 3.

The other day my wife sent me a video of her in the drive thru at Chick-Fil-a and all you hear is my Evie yelling “BITE!!” and that was before my wife even got the food.

I sure I am not the only tired dad out there. I know there are some tired moms out there also. Parents should band together at these points. We all love our kids so it is ok to give each other a little break every now and then. Sometimes it is nice to go to a restaurant that does not have kid placemats.

Honestly I could not come up with something to write about today so this is all I got. Sometimes when you blog you get stuck and when you get stuck you tend to go on little rants like this about tired you are.

Have a great weekend…See you for #MedalMonday!

K-Dub’s Concert

I have no idea why I did not share this a few weeks ago. I must have had a ton of other crazy things going on. A couple of weeks ago K-Dub had a concert put on by her school for the parents. It was her first one in the entire three years she had been there. I was actually pretty excited about going. What is more cute then a bunch of adorable kids singing? Right?

So we got her all dressed up. I left work early to ensure I was there on time. We got to the school and dropped her off at her classroom before going and taking our seats in the auditorium.

Soon it was time to start and the kids came marching in looking all adorable. Soon they started singing. I could not find K-Dub at first. I had to stand a little out of my chair and found that all the other kids were singing and she was standing there with her hands over her mouth. Only my kid. Take a look.

I was not made at her by any means but it was still pretty cute.

My Kids Are Special

This week we have had a lot of issues with our kids. I know every parent has issues with their kids but now it is my turn to vent a little.

Lets start with the oldest. K-Dub is having an issue wetting the bed. I am not sure how we have gotten to this point in our lives but I am so tired of striping this bed and washing sheets every day. I know my wife is because she is the one my kid was up in the middle of night to strip her wet pee soaked clothes off and put clean PJs on. I guess as dads we are automatically blocked from the kid waking us up in the middle of the night. My poor wife.

This has been going on for almost two weeks and I am tired of it. I have done everything in my power to help the situation. I started cutting her off the water an hour before bed and even pleaded with her. What else can you do? If your response is to wait it out then SHUT UP! Sorry that was a little extreme but you have to understand my frustrations.

If you have any advice please let me know.

The little one. This kid has a very serious attitude problem and if you are fooled by the cute smile then you are an idiot. Sorry again, it has been a crazy week. She actually got kicked out of class at daycare a few months ago cause she kept hitting the kids who were trying to nap. She is mean and if she does not like you then watch those tiny hands. They are about to come down on you.

I am not one to allow violence in my house by any means. Evie gets punished trust me. The only person that matters most to this little girl is her mom. If you take away the fact that her free line to unlimited milk is nestled in the breast of my bride then she would fall victim to these horrible acts of violence to. No one is safe from Evie. I don’t even get kisses from this girl. I get her forehead pushed against mine. Talk about disrespect.

Ok I am done venting now. I love my kids but sometimes that are real assholes. I mean I would walk on fire for them but sometimes I think they know this and try to take advantage of their old man. Anyways I know this is going to be temporary and I am going to look back on this post a year from now and laugh…or at least I hope.

Have a great weekend! See you next week!

 

Happy Easter!!!!

So it is that time of year where we get our kids dressed up in the finest outfits and get their pictures made so we can show them to our friends and get the “oh your kids are so cute” reaction. Yes that is what I am fixing to do here.

We recently had the girls get their pictures made for Easter cause I mean how cute can that be? Real cute as it turns out and let me be the first to say that my kids are beyond cute.

Anyways HAPPY EASTER from our family to yours! Enjoy you Easter Sunday this week!

Sweet Dreams


So when it comes to capturing sweet dad moments, my wife is the best! 

Last night K-Dub got in bed with us after she could not sleep. She scared me when she got between my wife and I. I think she had a bad dream cause she held on to me like this the entire night. 

It’s these moments that make being a dad so worth it! 

Dad, You Are NOT My Best Friend!

IMG_0036Well it has finally happened. I am no longer the most important thing in my kids life. I thought this would not happen till she was at least 8 but she is only three. It hurts really bad. Maybe I should start from the beginning.

So my oldest has really been acting out since our little Evie has come into the family. She throws more tantrums, tells us no, stops listening, and overall destroying our house. There has been a lot of spanking and time outs over the past month. I can handle the tantrums and the talking back but one day it got way to real in Danville.

So we were in the kitchen and I had rushed home to get dinner made and on the table. I made a good meal consisting of mac and cheese, grilled chicken, and broccoli. Now I never expected her to eat the little green trees, as we call them but she wanted chicken nuggets. As a dad for three years now I have grown custom to the fact that all little children at one point in their little lives have binged on chicken nuggets. Why not? They are amazing and make childhood wonderful with every crispy bite. I looked at her and explained that this was dinner and I was not making anything else. By now you are thinking that I am parent of the year. No I am lazy and just don’t want to make another meal.

My daughter looked me in the eye and said that I get on her nerves. I started to laugh cause I did not know where she heard such a phrase and I now am thinking it was from her mother. It had to be from her mother. It was her mother. My daughter looked at me with angry eyes. The kind of eyes my wife gives me when I forget to leave the toilet seat up or forget something at the store. I call it the death stare. She then uttered these words.

DAD, YOU ARE NOT MY BEST FRIEND!

It was like a knife stabbed me in the heart and twisted or when Andy left Woody and Buzz at the end of Toy Story 3. My life had shattered in a million pieces. I stood there asking myself if that was what I really heard. She has never said that to me. My oldest whom I have played princess tea party with after daycare, made cookies with, watched endless episodes of My Little Pony and Curious George with does not want me to be her friend.

My wife heard what she said and laughed a little. Maybe she thought it was funny cause she was not the victim of this verbal assault. She got off easy. She was stiller best friend. I gave my wife a look and she knew that I was hurt and tried to be a buffer in the situation. She asked my daughter if she really means that and that it hurt Daddy’s feelings. Daddy’s feels were hurt. My daughter looked at us both and said it again but added “My Pop is my best friend”.

Just like that my world was shattered. That was four days ago and still she is saying the same thing. I have now grown custom to living in the shadow of what my child loathes. I know I am a good parent but now I know that is all I am. Her dad and not her friend. Maybe after a couple of weeks she will be back to normal or as my wife put it a couple of nights ago…

Stop being such a little bitch about it!

 

Life With Two Kids At Four Months In

IMG_0250When my wife and I found out we were going to have baby number two, I was told by friends that having two kids was like jumping off a cliff blind folded. I was scared of having two kids due to the general “will I love the new baby as much as the first?” What if my other kid gets jealous and does not like the new baby? Needless to say my anxiety was getting the best of me.

When our little Evie came into this world this past October, we fell in love with her. She was a much easier baby then K-Dub cause she did not cry from the moment we met her. Evie smiles and does not cry usually unless she is hungry. Even then, it’s a soft cry that just makes you want to kiss those big adorable cheeks. At four months she is almost mastered the art of rolling over and is starting to know who Mommy and Daddy are, mostly Daddy. Yay! S he has been a blessing to our family and we all just can’t stop loving this little sweet pea.

As for the challenges we face with having two kids, bedtime and our morning routine is very hard. My poor wife. She does so much in so little time. Breakfast and dinner cannot happen without a meltdown from K-Dub. Our mornings revolve around Evie’s feeding time while our nights consist of multiple attempts to get Evie to go bed and stay asleep. Lunches and bottles have to be cleaned and packed for the next day. Toys have to be picked up which K-Dub has another meltdown about doing. Potty breaks every 20 minutes. Maybe one day my wife will get to enjoy a hot meal without someone needing to jump on her chest to eat or begging to sit on her lap. She is a good mom and never complains but I know she misses having that time to herself to you know…eat.

We do love our kids and people tell me that this phase will end soon but even though it’s a struggle to get out the door or to finally hit the sack at night, to enjoy it cause your kids are only this small one time. Soon they won’t need you and you will be the lame old people with the ton of rules. Until then I will mop up the meltdowns, rock them to sleep as many times as I have to or can, and smile the entire time I do it.

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Under The Sea And To The Potty

  

No trip can begin without a trip to the potty. This a fact an any parent that tells you different is a liar….

Its been a long time since I updated you all on K-Dub’s potty progress. I have to say that when my wife and I decided it was time to teach K-Dub how to use the potty, we never thought about how much it was going to effect us. I try not to complain a lot when it comes to parenting but this blog post would not make a great point without me expressing some of my frustrations. Here we go…

First, when potty training our daughter I have found that she has good days, bad days, and horrible days. You never know which one you will have. If you can make it to lunch without an accident then I really do consider that a parental win. Then those days where it seems that K-Dub can’t make it tot potty in time or it seems she is just too damn lazy to stop playing and go. Those days make me want to tear what is left of my hair completely out.

While I was enjoying my down time this past weekend, My wife and I decided to take our daughter to the aquarium in Concord, NC. I have never been to that aquarium and I heard good things so I was interested to see if it was going to be a great experience. No experience is complete without a trip to the potty before we headed in, while we were there, again, and then right before we left. I swear I have never met anyone or a child for that fact that can pee so much. We still had a great time but I have to say that I was exhausted when it came time for her to potty.

What really makes me super mad about potty training is when K-Dub tells me that she needs to go and then we get to the potty and she does nothing and just sits there and smiles at me. The kind of smile that reads “Gotcha Daddy”. If she was not so damn cute I would be real mad but when this happens I just tell myself that she is two. A smart two-year old at that.

Just keep saying a prayer for us as we continue this process. I have been pooped and peed on but I am still not willing to give up on her!

The Bed Tranistion

 

Its not a huge secret that I am a bargain hunter. I hate spending a lot of money. I have never in my life thought of myself as cheap but I do get high from saving money. Thats why I am the only dad in my community that coupons. True story. Its bad that I have a rep around town of being the most domestic housewife you met. Its true and I am not ashamed to be the one who cooks, cleans, and does all the shopping. its kind of an OCD kind of thing and on the other hand of me knowing that if I do it it will be done right.

Anyways, this week my wife asked me to meet her at a huge consignment sale at a local church. This sale is like the Super Bowl of sales. I have actually never been to a consignment sale and have always left the kids clothing shopping to my wife cause lets face it, my wife knows little girl fashion better then me. I actually arrived first and went in and there was not a crowd yet so I took my time walking around looking. I was getting some seriously crazy looks from some of the moms as it was clear that I was the only dad in the whole place.

About 30 minutes or so of looking and putting potiental items in a bag, I found it. For weeks my wife and I have been talking about getting K-Dub a toddler bed so we could get the crib ready for the new baby. We knew we did not want to go broke on a new piece of furniture but now was a better time then later. I looked up at the wall by the door and they had a very nice toddler bed with a mattress for only $35. That was a steal! I took a picture and sent it to my wife. She sent me a immediate reply with a GET IT!! I asked the kind lady sitting next to it if it was still for sale and she said yes. She handed me the ticket and I almost hugged her as I smiled.

When we got home I was still high from my latest frugal find. If I was a smoker I would have lit up then! Sometimes I think getting a great deal is better then sex! We put the bed in the dinning room and decided that tomorrow we would introduce K-Dub to her new bed.

The next morning I took K-Dub’s new bed up to her room while my wife gave her a bath. I put the sheets on and threw a nice pillow on. I was so excited for her to see it. She was going to love it. As soon as she saw it this happened…

Not the reaction I was hoping for but it could have been worse. After finally getting her to calm down by simply explaining she was a big girl and that the new baby needed her old crib now, she dried her tears and calmed down.

That night she she fell asleep after only climbing out of bed a few times. I have to say that its hard to believe that as a parent we are at this point. My little girl is growing up so fast and I am doing everything to keep up with her. I guess its on to the next adventure.

#PregnancyProblems Weeks 6 to 8

It’s been a long time since my last post due to the fact that our lives have been nuts. When I say nuts, it’s more of an excuse for the amount of chaos our lives ….

Sorry for the pause. I am trying to write this post at a local Starbucks and some asshole with his iPhone buds in his ear is talking about spreadsheets with some other asshole. We get it! You are a super douche who has nothing better to do than to talk extremely loud and walk back in forth while talking about something that no one is interested in. Sorry I am a little ill. After you read this you will have a better idea. Ok back to my story…

First let me say we are super thankful for the positive comments and tweets regarding our pregnancy announcement. You guys rock! Like I said before our house has been crazy. K-Dub is in daycare which made me cry really hard like someone stole my puppy or when the last episode of Parenthood aired. That show gets me EVERYTIME! I started a new job at the newspaper and I have to say it is very fast pace and deadline driven. I love it. I thrive in chaos very well. That’s why I am a amazing father and husband. I am also a conceded asshole. Sorry. My wife is just super pregnant and experiencing a lot of issues.  

Let’s start with K-Dub. She started saying “I love you Daddy” and it melts my heart. She is potty training very well except with a few bad incidents. I took her pee and she pooped her pants and it fell on the floor and I stepped in it. Yes this happened and it was my first day at my new job. I was almost late due to cleaning my child’s turd off my shoe. Not my finest moment as a father. She loves daycare even though today is her fifth day and she started last Monday. More on this later. She loves her horsey and takes it everywhere. If you forget it, it will be hell on earth. My daughter voice turns into a screeching sound like someone had released the Kracken! The struggle is real. 

Now my wife is not very pregnant unlike I said before. She is only eight weeks. I remember when she was pregnant with my daughter this meant that she never wanted to be touched and sex was always out of the question. This time a round she is sick all the time, tired ALL THE TIME, and can’t poop. She stays sick all the time. She is constantly holding her mouth like a nun who needs to drop the f-bomb. I started calling my wife Gladess due to her being tired all the time. I don’t know many 28 year olds who go to bed early but my wife is totally ok with going to bed at 8:30. Yes you heard me! It makes it hard to have alone time with her or plan a date night. I found this out on Valentine’s Day by having to schedule our date at 4:00 PM. This really happened. 

When my kid started daycare it only took two days before she brought a friend home with her. By friend I mean a crazy stomach virus that lead to us having diarrhea and nausea all weekend. The diarrhea was mostly my thing cause my wife is pregnant and can’t poop. Yes this is a true pregnancy symptom. It got to the point where she went and got some apple juice to help losen her stool. As for me I could not stop going. It was horrible but a great way to loose weight. Seriously great. 

Now we are suppose to get an ultrasound of our little nugget tomorrow so we can hear the heartbeat. I am excited but I hope the snow stays away long enough. We will see. I can’t wait to have this newest addition join the crew. After reading this story you are either excited or scared for our little peanut. Sorry future son or daughter this is your family. We promise not to screw you up that bad!