Nothing Like A Hopping Easter!

 

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I hope everyone had an awesome Easter this past weekend!

My Easter weekend left me tired and exhausted. I had to work on Saturday like always but I managed to leave a little early and get home around 3. I was greeted at the door by my wife and daughter with smiles on their faces. The house smelled good with steaming posts coming from the stove. Then my mother-in-law and her husband came around the corner and greeted me. My mother-in-law is an amazing cook and was making me one of my favorite dishes which is cube steak and gravy. It is an amazing dish and goes great with some mashed potatoes and green beans.

After stuffing my face with most likely too much food to the point where I sat miserably on the couch, we sat and enjoyed some light conversation over pieces of red velvet cake and coffee. It was too much for me around nine and I had to get some sleep. We had to get up and go to church in the morning.

Easter Sunday finally came and BrittWhitFun and I got up and got all of the Easter Bunny gifts out and waited for K-Dub to wake up. Once she did we gave her the Easter basket we spent almost a month making. She smiled and tried to put most of the stuff in her mouth. We got her some sidewalk chalk, a bubble gun, and some sand toys but no candy cause she is a little too young for a sugar rush.

We then all got dressed which was a task all in itself. I tried on five pairs of pants before I found a pair that fit me due to my extreme weight loss. It felt good but I was starting to get in a hurry. You could tell that I don’t wear dress up clothes very often. They were wearing me. We all gathered in the living room and then walked outside in the front yard and made some family photos. Then we told my mother-in-law and her husband goodbye, as the had stayed overnight, and we headed to church.

After church we came home and but K-Dub down for a nap, while we almost took one too. Soon it was time to get up and make two pans of my not so but almost famous mac and cheese and head to my sister-in-law’s house for Easter dinner. So we got K-Dub up and changed into outfit number two and got in the car.

My sister-in-law, Kate had her house decorated in Easter decor it looked great. My brother-in-law invited his parents over and they made this barbeque that would make you want to slap your mother! We had so much food that included hash brown casserole, cole slaw, deviled eggs, and rolls. I had not choice but to happily cheat on my diet and eat like it was no one’s business. After dinner we enjoyed some amazing italian love cake and the kids went outside for pictures while the rest of nursed our full stomachs on the couch.

Soon it was time to head to the house to get K-Dub to bed. I had to roll off the couch to get to the car. Once we got home he had what can only be named as the worse night in the history of me being a parent. I will explain everything tomorrow. All and all Easter was great. I enjoyed spending time with my family and I did make my yearly day after Easter trip to Target for some great discounted Reese’s Eater Eggs. Those things are the highlight of my spring. I want one right now.

The Reese’s Easter Egg Hunt From Hell!

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I love Easter and everything that comes with it. Going to church, getting dressed up, coloring eggs, making a basket for my daughter, and chocolate bunnies are just a few of the things that I look forward to during this season. When Easter comes you know that it is officially Spring Time, which is one of my favorite times of the year. The only think that sucks about Spring is the all that stupid pollen getting on your car. I hate that stuff. My car always looks like I Big Bird came all over it. Stupid Big Bird!

The best thing about Easter is what happens the day after Easter. Thats right my other fat friends! It’s the day where all the stores slap a 50% off sticker on all the Easter merchandise. Its a big deal cause there is one thing that I will beat an old lady down for. This wonderful confection is known as the Reese’s Easter Egg! These things are so good. They are not like regular Reese’s peanut butter cups, but better! They have so much more peanut butter and chocolate goodness in them. I consider them my reward for my Easter festivities that I went through, however, obtaining these sweet candies from heaven is nothing to take lightly.

Monday morning I got up and got my daughter ready for our outing which was really hard cause she hates her car seat. I had to explain to her that Daddy had some important errands to run and she had to come along. She of course did not understand me and continued to scream at the top of her lungs until I just put her in the car and started playing Justin Timberlake and she passed out. Please remember that Justin Timberlake’s sexy man voice makes panties fall and kids go to sleep. True story. Finally we were on our way.

I pulled into my local Target store and got the rugrat out and headed inside. It never ceases to amaze me how many women look at a man with baby and a diaper bag. I mean some of those women could have turned me to stone they were staring so hard. Now I have to confess that they were actually staring at the handbags behind me that were on sale, but a man can dream can’t he? Karsyn was still asleep so I put her in the buggie and headed down to the Easter aisle.

When I arrived there was not that many people there so I thought this was going to be an easy task. I walk the aisles and could not find the Reese’s Easter Eggs. Was I too late? Did people already come and get them? How many people are as addicted to these things as me? Does this post make me sound like a fatty? Please don’t answer that last one. I looked at the front of the aisle in awe as I saw the holy grail of Easter candy. There was only one problem….. there was only three one pound bags left and 2 trays of 6 of the larger eggs left. I raced to the display and then to my shock an old lady cut me off. Now I am generally a nice guy but this lady was a devil in a huge floral dress. She smiled at me as she cut me off. I looked at her and thought “you bitch!!” I was not about to let this old lady come between me and my beloved clearance Easter treats. Game on old lady, game on!

What happened next was not one of my most proud moment. Please don’t judge me and/or call the police on me for what I did. I am still having trouble sleeping at night. I griped my shopping cart tightly and rammed it in to the side of the old lady’s cart, causing it to swing into the center aisle. I looked at the old lady, who looked like I had just ran over her dog, and said “I am so sorry Mam, I did not see you there” with the biggest smile I could manage to give. I turned and grabbed the last packages of Reese Easter Eggs and started on my way but not before helping the old lady retrieve her shopping cart. I of course did it with a huge “don’t fuck with me” look along with a little swag in my step.

Then the old lady looked at me defeated, and like The Grinch, my heart grew two sizes that day. I reached in my cart and grabbed two bags of candy and gave them to her and said “I think this is what you came for”. I am not going to lie it was beginning to look like a 90’s sitcom with the sad music that starts playing when the conflict is resolved at the end of the episode. Yes, I have seen way too many episodes of Full House. The old lady looked at me and said thanks and went about her shopping trip like she had just won the Olympics.

I picked up a few more items I came for and headed to the front to pay. I felt like I won the lottery! I know that these little yellow packages of pure peanut butter awesomeness won’t last forever but that is what makes them so special. They only come around once a year and when you get them you have to cherish them. Just like those moments in life. I learned a lot that day but one thing sticks out more than others. It wasn’t not to hit old women’s shopping carts, or Justin Timberlake can make you kid go to sleep, or that I look good carrying a diaper bag. It was that when it comes to the day after Easter, I need to get up a hell of a lot earlier if I want more of those sweet treats. See you next year Reese’s Easter Eggs!