I Am A Tired Dad

I am tired!

The past few months have been like a complete blur. We have had a lot going on. With the renovations, birthday parties, beach trips, sorting through old junk, working, and holidays I really have not had a whole lot of time to breathe.

I think my wife and I need a weekend of down time. As much as I love our crazy life that we built together, I would like to take a time out and sit in a hammock in the shade and just fall asleep for a couple of hours.

There are two things in this world that are amazing: Coffee and more Coffee. I never knew how much I loved it until I had children. My children are amazing but they are exhausting. I love them but they are at a 15 when I need them down at about a 3.

The other day my wife sent me a video of her in the drive thru at Chick-Fil-a and all you hear is my Evie yelling “BITE!!” and that was before my wife even got the food.

I sure I am not the only tired dad out there. I know there are some tired moms out there also. Parents should band together at these points. We all love our kids so it is ok to give each other a little break every now and then. Sometimes it is nice to go to a restaurant that does not have kid placemats.

Honestly I could not come up with something to write about today so this is all I got. Sometimes when you blog you get stuck and when you get stuck you tend to go on little rants like this about tired you are.

Have a great weekend…See you for #MedalMonday!

My Perfect Father’s Day

Just when I think my little girls could not surprise me anymore, they do. I had a great Father’s Day and thanks to my girls and my amazing wife, I was showered with love the entire day.

I woke up to “Happy Father’s Day” from K-Dub, which was followed by lots of hugs and kisses. After we got dressed they handed me their homemade cards. Nothing is better then a homemade card.

I was taken to my favorite breakfast spot which is Stacks in Waxhaw. If you ever go I suggest you go early as the line can get crazy. We stuffed our faces with pancakes, French toast, and hash browns and bacon. So good and so worth it!

After breakfast went on our usual Sunday Target run to get some things for the week and my wife bought me some new clothes. When we got home, I left with K-Dub and went to see Cars 3. It was a great time with just the two of us. I spoiled her with candy and popcorn and she soaked up every minute with me.

When we got home we went swimming for a couple of hours at the neighborhood pool and then went home where I made my famous Mac and cheese with fried squash and cornbread. It was yummy! Then I was treated to Pelican’s Snowcones in Waxhaw. This place is so good. They over 50 flavors and it is very affordable. I got cherry margarita and blue raspberry. So good.

I loved my Father’s Day. I got to spend it with my girls who I love more then anything in this world. Being a dad is the best job I could ask for and one that I never take for granted.

My Best Friend Dad.

This Sunday is Father’s Day. I am very excited but just like the past two years I am sad. It is hard to believe my dad has been gone three years this October.

It is a crazy feeling not having parents. You have no one to call and just talk to about things. My dad was a great listener. He would not give his two cents unless you asked. He would tell me if I was wrong, tell me it would be ok, and he always told me he loved me. He was my rock in many ways. Now I sit here and I catch myself listening to his voicemails and how he would always start them off with “Hey Tyler, Its your Dad!” like I did not know who I was talking to.

I read about the latest political scandals going on and all the things that President Trump is doing and I know that if my father were alive he would have a field day. I always told my dad to start a blog. It would have been a great blog full of his personal insight. My dad was very opinionated so his blog would have been an amazing read.

My dad always loved movies and he loved Marvel movies. Every time one would come out he raced to the theater on opening night to be one of the first to see it. Sometimes he waited for me to go with him. Going to the movies with my dad was one our favorite things to do together. It was our time to bond. Now I may not make it to opening night but I do go and see the newest Marvel every chance I get.

One of the things my dad had that he loved was his truck. He was always so proud of his truck. After he passed away I got it and made it my own but all of his things are still in it. Sometimes when I am driving I reach up and grab his hanging cross on his rear view mirror and say “Love you Dad”.

One thing he loved more then me was K-Dub. I don’t care what anyone thinks but he loved my oldest daughter more then anything. I am 95% sure she was his favorite grandchild. He always came and saw her to play with her. She loved him and still today, she asks me about him. I miss watching them bond. It was something very special. I know that if he was here today then he would love Evie. They would have been great friends.

As the years have come and gone I don’t think missing him ever gets easier. Its just around this time of year I miss having a dad to honor. I miss being able to pick of the phone and call him. He was taken from me so soon and I did not even get a chance to say goodbye. Life is not always far and things happen. People die and it is sometimes ones that are real close to you. My dad maybe be died but his memories are still with me. His advice still guides me, his love is still in my heart. Just when I can’t think of a better gift, he still there to remind me what is most important.

Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads out there!

What A Holiday Weekend

I think that holiday weekends go by the fastest. I am pretty sure I am correct. I hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend and are ready to get back to work. I know that that last part is a little harder to hear. I know I could use another day by the pool.

My little family had a great weekend. We started Saturday by cleaning the house and getting ready for our new furniture to be delivered. We bought a new kitchen table and chairs and a big girl bed for K-Dub. The only problem was that they never put the box spring on our order so we spent a great part of our afternoon tracking down a box spring for her bed. Once we found on at Mattress Firm we got it and K-Dub had her first night in her new bed.

Sunday we got up and had coffee and went to the new Whole Foods that opened up near us in Waverly. I had never been inside a Whole Foods and had read many blogs were people account their own horror stories. I found this place really cool and I can’t wait to go back. The produce was fresh, the hot bar was amazing, and they atmosphere was cool. They even had their own little seating area upstairs. Is it a grocery store, is it a restaurant, or is it a coffee bar? Who knows but it was a neat experience.

After eating lunches and nap times we got ready and went to the first of many to come pool sessions. I think my girls loved it. They enjoyed it so much that when we got in the car to grab dinner they both fell asleep so my wife and I ended up getting our food to go. After super we decided to take the girls for a snow cone in Waxhaw and it was good. My favorite was the cherry margarita.

Monday I went and worked out. I then came home and cleaned up the backyard. My BIL and SIL came over with my nephews and we went back to the pool for a couple of hours. once we got back I put on my Martha Stewart hat and got to cooking. I made baked beans, I grilled some corn and bacon cheddar burgers, cut up a watermelon, and served warm apple pie with some ice cream. The kids enjoyed playing with some bubble guns we got them. We gave the kids a bath before the nephews went home and I passed out.

It was a great weekend and I hope you got to spend some time with your love ones and remember those who served us so we could celebrate this great holiday.

Happy Wednesday!

 

Operation: Rescue Daddy

This weekend I was very excited. I was going to have my first guys weekend in a while to spend some time with brother down at Carolina Beach. I was going to drive my truck that I just had lifted and got new mud tires installed. I was going to be a great weekend of camping, fishing, and just enjoying each others company.

Fate had a different idea. I was on the way down Friday night when just when I got into Carolina Beach my truck started to shake and my truck started to smoke. It turns out my drivers side front axle broke and my drivers side tire was slanted.

So my brother came and picked me up and I stayed the night at the camp site. In the morning I called around some auto shops only to find that most were closed for Easter holiday. I finally found one that was opened. I called my wife to tell her what happened and she stopped everything and said she was on the way.

After a couple of hours I was greeted by her and my beautiful girls. She helped me get the car towed to the auto shop. What started as a guys weekend ended up as a little family vacation. We played on the beach.

Me love to beat up the ocean!

We go doughnuts at the famous Wake and Bake Doughnut Shop.

We stayed the night at BrittWhitFun’s grandma’s house at Holden Beach and then got up Sunday morning and played a little on the beach before heading home.

I honestly would not know what I would do without my gals. I love them so much and I am thankful to be a husband and father in this little family of mine. I am a lucky man.

I hope to hear back from the auto shop this week. It looks like this Saturday we will be making another impromtu trip to the beach to pick up the truck… and maybe to a little beach bumming.

Happy Easter!!!!

So it is that time of year where we get our kids dressed up in the finest outfits and get their pictures made so we can show them to our friends and get the “oh your kids are so cute” reaction. Yes that is what I am fixing to do here.

We recently had the girls get their pictures made for Easter cause I mean how cute can that be? Real cute as it turns out and let me be the first to say that my kids are beyond cute.

Anyways HAPPY EASTER from our family to yours! Enjoy you Easter Sunday this week!

Adjusting To Grief

img_3281It has been a long time since I been on the blogosphere. Maybe that’s because I have been afraid of what would happen when I came back or maybe it was the fact that I did not know what to say. My heart is heavy and broken and I feel like I am in a nightmare that not even coffee can fix.

Almost a month ago I lost my mother. The women who gave me life. She suffered through a long battle with diabetes and heart disease. As many of you know she suffered a stroke and refused treatment. She was sent to hospice where a little over a week later on September 11, 2016 she took her final breath.

My close friends and family will tell you that I did not have the best relationship with my mother. It was not until right before Evie was born that we started working on our relationship. Soon after that, I found myself not being able to start my day with out my morning phone call from my mom between crossfit class and driving to the office. She became my friend and my mentor. She told me things that I never thought she would. She encouraged me, prayed for me, always asked about “her” girls, what was going on with work, and how was running going. She told me about the ups and downs she was having with her health and her husband. It always broke my heart to hear about her struggles cause I knew there was nothing I could do but to be encouraging and to be the ear she needed.

After she passed, the next few days were insane. I actually went back to work for two days and was surprised at how much I needed the distraction. The visitation was amazing cause I got to see people who I have not seen in years. My Grandma’s best friend, coworkers, former youth group member, my best friends parents, and my crossfit coach made the trip to provide comfort and to pay respects to both me and my mother. I felt loved and appreciated.

img_3324The funeral was special. We had a small turn out but it was on a Monday and I understand that people have jobs. My wife and I started the day with a trip to Starbucks. We talked about the visitation and how much it was important for us to keep our family together. When the funeral started my mother’s favorite doctor and coworker spoke about how much she meant to him and to the practice that she devoted her whole being to. It made me feel proud of the work she did and the person she was.

img_3336That weekend, my stepdad, brother, sister-in-law, nieces, bother from another mother, his girlfriend, my wife and kids headed down to Oak Island to do as my mother wished and spread her ashes on the beach. We stayed at a beach house  and spent the whole Saturday playing on the beach, fishing, and eating pizza. It was a great family time that I will never forget.

Sunday morning came and we packed our bags and loaded the car. Before we headed back to Charlotte we gathered on the beach and prayed as a family. My brother and I took our mother’s remains and some flowers and walked to the shallows of the ocean. We poured the ashes and watched the sea carry our mother out. I placed the flowers in the water and watched as they floated away. I held back the tears but was left with a memory burned in my mind forever.

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The feeling of not having any parents is a strange one. I often find myself picking up my phone to call her only to get the phone halfway to my ear and realizing that she is not there to answer. I feel there is a void in my heart. Where do you go from here? I am an orphan. I miss her more than I can even say in this post. I am angry that I did not have more time with her and all those years we were mad at each other were wasted. I am mad that she suffered with her health for so long and that she could not seem to do what she wanted cause her body would not let her.

I am thankful for the time we did have and the conversations we had. My mom was always the best person to talk to. She offered advice even when you never asked for it. She loved her grandkids so much. They were the lights of her life. She cooked with her heart just like my grandmother. She loved to have family over and to plan family gatherings. The Manus Family Christmas Party was her favorite cause it is a tradition passed down from her parents to the her siblings and I hope to us now.

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One thing that my mother hoped for and unfortunately did not happen when she was alive was that now my brother and I have a relationship. We are working on our relationship. We have made it a point to talk everyday, to plan family events, and put out past differences away. We are all we have left and I am excited to see where this will go. This is what mom would have wanted. For her two boys to get along and be a family.

img_3408This blog entry has taken me three weeks to write. I had to stop and take a break and let myself grieve and feel. Now here it is my youngest daughters birthday and all I want is for her to be here. To watch her wear her princess crown, to sing “Happy Birthday”, to watch her open presents, and to smile and laugh as she loved to do. I know she is looking down on us and watching us but I can’t help but feel like we will all be ok. We will have our moments where the grief is too much to take. We will need time to cry. As soon as we are done, to keep doing what she wanted which was the following:

“Love one another unconditionally and do for others daily. Above all, laugh- a lot.”

-Paula Helms

Love you Mom!

T.