This week has been crazy and it is only Wednesday. At least we have half way through the week. I think they call this “hump day”.
I am currently on a train heading into work after an intense crossfit partner workout. There was a lot of running, snatching, pulling up and of course sweat.
Saw my mom last night and she is doing much better. The doctors are saying she is going to be discharged today and sent to rehab. I can’t wait to see how she recovers after a week at rehab. She seemed in good sports last night despite having a bad headache and not being able to keep her eyes open. Keep the prayers coming.
I am super excited cause I got my email about packet pickup for the Greek Festival 5k today. So excited for this race. It’s going to be so much fun. This is the last short distance race of the year for me. The next few race are between 9 and 13 miles. Man I love running.
Got a lot of good content coming in the next few weeks so be on the lookout!
So this weekend has been rough. There is not an easy way to say it. I feel like I have been on a crazy ride of emotions the past three days. One minute I am happy, then sad, then scared, and then angry. Its not always in that order but the intensity of emotions varies.
This morning I decided to go for a run. The one thing I know that makes me forget. It keeps me in check. It is the time in my day where I think the most clearly and I am the most relax. I think it is the runner’s high. I managed to complete 4 miles. I would tell you the time but I was not watching the clock. This run was just for fun.
I got a call before stepping in the shower from my brother. He told me that my mother’s condition had gotten worse and that I needed to come to the hospital ASAP. I jumped in the shower and threw my clothes on and headed up to the hospital in a hast.
I was told that my mom’s brain had swollen and we only had two options. One was to do surgery and allow them to drill a hole in my mom’s skull to let some of the pressure out or to let nature run it’s course. After a long discussion with my brother and stepfather, we decided to honor my moms wishes and to let nature run it’s course.
I spent the rest of the afternoon coming to terms with what was decided. I knew this was the right decision. This is what she wanted.
I never thought I would have to decide someone’s fate like that. It is a strange feeling. The closest I have ever came to this was when I had to sign the papers for them to extract my deceased child out of my wifes womb. As tramatic as that was, this was different.
On a brighter note, my mom was talking today. She would come in and out as she was trying to regain her conscious. She told me she wanted a Pepsi and a chicken biscuit. I had to explain to her that the nurses said she could not have that as they feared she would choke. She would sometimes ask strange questions. She asked to get her phone so she could call her mom. My grandma has been died for over 10 years.
When I go home my wife gave me a hug and told me that everything was going to be fine. I knew she was lying but I appreciated the attempt to make me feel better. She did surprise me with a new desk. It was just what I wanted to complete things for the gym and to keep blogging.
Now its time for bed. I have 75 burpees waiting for me in the morning. Goodnight guys!!!
So I am thankful that today is Friday! I know it’s almost over but today was rough. I got my world rocked and the future is not certain.
Today I got some not so good news. My mom suffered a stroke this morning that has left her numb on her left side. She can’t really speak and the doctors don’t know if she will make a full recovery.
Days like today make your reality come into check. This reality is still sinking in. Losing a parent is not easy but it is a done deal. I have delt with that before. The problem is watching them suffer. Watching them struggle and not be able to help. That is what scares me.
My mom has had a lot of heath issues. The past five years have been a struggle. She lost her foot, has congestive heart failure and is depressed. Somehow through all that she still manages to get up every morning. She is strong.
Today I am feeling numb. I am scared. I am angry. I want my mom to feel better. I want her back. These next few weeks will be hard.
I ask for prayers for my family and for peace during this time